


Fate Can Go Fuck Itself

by JZXR7



Category: American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Canon has been taken out back and shot, Cordelia sees the future and says "fuck that", F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fuck Ryan Murphy, Hurt/Comfort, Misty lives damnit, Seven wonders MAJOR plot divergence, Takes angsty canon and gives it a damn flower crown, foxxay - Freeform, goode-day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:39:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JZXR7/pseuds/JZXR7
Summary: Cordelia realizes during the seven wonders that MAYBE it might be a good idea to use her second sight to avoid any disasters. Obviously, this one action changes canon quite a bit.Spoiler alert: Misty lives, and fluff ensues.





	1. Cordelia Makes an Executive Decision

"Everybody hold it!"

The witches on the floor looked up in surprise. "Cordelia, what the fuck?"

The blind witched huffed. "For once in your lives just listen to me. I can see the damn future, right?"

There were various nods of assent. 

"Wouldn't it make sense to make sure no one fucking  _dies_ doing this shit?"

Nobody moved, all secretly agreeing that yes, that made perfect fucking sense, but not wanting to be the first person to admit that. 

Finally, Myrtle spoke. "Perhaps it couldn't hurt. This coven is already in a state of catastrophe. We can hardly afford to lose more witches."

The girls on the floor sighed in relief, climbing to their feet. Unsurprisingly, Misty was the first one to Cordelia's seat. Kneeling at the headmistress's feet, she grabbed her hand. Cordelia froze, transported to a world where the coven's resident optimist turned to ash in her arms.

"Fuck no."

Everyone was rather unsettled by this pronouncement.

"Uh, Miss Delia? Whaddaya mean-"

Cordelia held up a hand. "I said fuck no. As in, sit down, do not pass go, do not enter Hell."

Madison rolled her eyes. "So what? We're just supposed to not compete because she says so? Fuck that." She lay back down. "See you on the other side, bitches."

Queenie and Zoe looked at each other questioningly. "It can't hurt, right? To prepare?" Queenie shook her head.

"You're all being stupid. The point of this shit is to be dangerous." She glared at Madison as she took her place on the floor. "You coming?"

Zoe gingerly laid her palm over Cordelia's. The woman's reaction was significantly less dramatic this time around. "Oh. Well then. I suppose that shouldn't be an issue if Misty isn't dead..."

Needless to say, everyone was both puzzled and unnerved by this pronouncement. "Cordelia? What do you mean by-"

"Come on, Zoe. We're wasting time!" Zoe huffed and marched back to the center of the floor, flopping next to Madison. 

"You suck."

Madison grinned lazily at her. "You wish, babe."

With an incoherent noise of pure rage, Zoe began reciting the spell to send herself to Hell, promptly followed by the other witches. The girls collapsed leaving Myrtle, Misty, and Cordelia alone in the room.

"Cordelia. Not that I don't support interfering when necessary, but Misty Day was one of our most promising witches. Was this really sensible?" Mentally, Cordelia would admit that it wasn't. Her visions tended to be slightly open for interpretation, but Misty was Misty. She wouldn't risk her. 

The witch in question leaned farther into the couch next to Cordelia. "S'fine by me. I ain't looking to be nobody's leader anyhow." She nodded briskly as if that was that. Cordelia smiled slightly. Misty really was too pure for this world, and definitely too pure for even potential damnation. 

Opposite Cordelia and Misty, Myrtle rolled her eyes. Her little bird really was quite smitten, wasn't she? And Misty seemed to return her affections. They made quite a picture together, Misty's hand on Cordelia's wrist, gesticulating wildly as she spoke, Cordelia smiling widely. The blindness was quite unfortunate, but if it prevented the loss of Misty yet again than Mrytle supposed it was for the best. Maybe the new supreme would fix that?... A new surgery was not out of the question, as long as Cordelia promised not to remove the next ones.

* * *

 To Cordelia's delight, all the girls made it back before time was up. Madison Montgomery was insufferably smug that Misty had now taken herself out of the race for supremacy, but she didn't exactly need second sight to predict that.

She also didn't need second sight to know that the girls, now rattled from their experiences in Hell, would not be taking this slightly-less-intimidating trial seriously. She was proven right when Zoe started a game of tag, of all things. Because in a dangerous magical competition where people literally died, that made perfect sense.

When Zoe was impaled on the gates as Cordelia had foreseen, she gave Madison and Queenie their chances to revive her. Madison, clearly in some sort of temper tantrum, refused to save her friend. Cordelia shook her head, squeezing Misty's hand. "Can you save her, dear?"

Misty took her hand and guided her forward. "Sure. Just gotta get her down first." Using telekinesis, Zoe was slowly removed from the gate and revived. 

"Ow. What the fuck? Is this when you meant when you said that something shouldn't be an issue?"

Cordelia nodded. "Technically, because you have died over the course of the competition, you are no longer eligible for supremacy. I'm sorry."

Madison flounced over, grabbing Zoe by the arm. "Don't worry. You can be part of my council when I win."

Zoe shoved her hand away. "You didn't even fucking revive me, bitch." 

Madison glared. "Fine then. Am I the new Supreme now?"

Silence reigned for several minutes. Madison Montgomery as Supreme would be the same thing as having her mother in charge. Something would have to be done. 

Correction: She would have to do something. Like always. 

* * *

 

 Her Hell was...not what she expected. She could see again, for one thing. White room. The girls unconscious on the floor. It was as if she'd gone back in time to the trial of- _No. No no no._ Misty was on the floor with the others.  _Misty couldn't be on the floor with the others. She saw what happened **she saw it** why was Misty on the floor? _

Rushing to her side, Cordelia shook her shoulder. "Misty? Please wake up!"

"She won't wake up. She's in Hell, you stupid girl." Oh perfect. Her mother was here too. Just perfect.

"This isn't real. I stopped her. She's safe. You're dead..." Wasn't she?

Fiona's lips curled in disgust. "You stopped nothing. You were a coward, the girl died, and here we are in your guilt-ridden hallucination. Pathetic." Fiona was wrong. Fiona had to be wrong. Didn't she? "Oh, look. She's out of time. Here we go again."

The final grains on the hourglass dropped away. The weight of Misty's body in her arms lifted, a fine coating of ash covering her clothes. "No. This isn't real. This isn't real!"  _Please don't let it be real._

Fiona grimaced as sobs wracked Cordelia's body. "No, it's not real. This time. But it was. You could have saved her, you didn't, and now we're here. I get to watch my only daughter fail her one job, and you get to relive your greatest regret. Welcome to Hell." Cordelia froze. Hell. She was in Hell. It wasn't real. It couldn't be.

She turned to Fiona. "Shut the fuck up, you hypocritical bitch."

* * *

 "How do I make her wake up?"

Mrytle sighed, attempting to ease Misty's death grip on her arm. "There is nothing we can do. We cannot interfere. The fate of the coven depends on it."

Misty was in no way pacified. "I don't care 'bout the coven. Bring her back! Please, bring her back." Sobbing over Cordelia's prone body, Misty brought her face next to the unconscious woman's. "Please, Delia. We all need ya back. Please... Please hurry."

Madison strolled in from the kitchen, contemptuous eye roll on display. "Face it Swampie. She isn't coming back."

Myrtle groaned. "Madison. While pretending you care for no one but yourself may be a preferred defense mechanism, your mascara is running, you're a wreck, and you're holding Zoe Benson's favorite drink as you scale the stairs to find her. Please, spare us your adolescent melodrama." Madison glared at her and stomped up the stairs. 

"Madison's wrong though, right? She's gotta come back. I need her back..." Eyeliner running down her face, Misty looked frightful. "There's gotta be a spell. She's like your daughter. Tell me you don't wanna fix her? The damn coven can't be that important."

Misty was right. The coven wasn't that important, but Cordelia was. "She chose this. Knowing the risks, potentially seeing her own fate, she chose this. We must respect her wishes." 

Misty collapsed, head on Cordelia's chest, tears flowing freely. "Miss Cordelia. If you're in there...If ya can hear me... We're here waitin', me an' Mrytle, an if ya don't come back I'm comin' after ya."

Shooting forward, Cordelia gasped. "Where's Misty? Please tell me it was fake, she was there and-Where is she?"

Misty practically tackled her to the floor. "I'm right here. I'm fine an' I ain't goin' nowhere."

Cordelia's shaking hands wove through her hair, pulling her close. "You were-I couldn't save you. Fiona said-"

"-Fiona's a damn liar, whatever it was. I was worried 'bout you." Sniffling slightly, Misty hauled Cordelia to her feet. "Now, I sure hope you can revive shit, cause Madison'd make a damn awful Supreme."

 

 


	2. Tying Up Loose Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first bit of this is just to resolve the Kyle situation. Cause I mean, he did kill someone and apocalypse never addressed that. Also, Misty revives Myrtle after she insists on being burned, Zoe was pissed at Kyle for killing Madison but is also pissed at Madison, and everyone needs therapy.

It turns out Cordelia could indeed "revive shit."

It turns out she could do quite a few things. Seven very important ones, to be specific. To the relief of most present, since a grand total of one person would have been pleased to have Madison ascend to supremacy. This one person was, of course, Madison herself. Who had marched off at some point, and apparently been murdered by Kyle.

Lucky for her, Misty refused to allow the girl to remain dead. And while Madison wasn't exactly full of thanks for her revival (she was rather busy cursing out her killer, to be fair), she was at least content to bunker down in her and Zoe's bedroom. Which was bound to get incredibly awkward later, when Zoe needed to return to it. 

In the meantime, there was the question of how to handle Kyle. Because as Supreme, she obviously could not have a murderer running around her school. Madison was very emphatic that Kyle had murdered her, and frankly, given the circumstances of Zoe's death, Cordelia wouldn't be surprised. So clearly, it was time to hold some sort of trial. Because she was not Fiona. Therefore, just burning him was not an option.

Which brought them to the current situation. Kyle had been tied (courtesy of Misty) to a kitchen chair and placed in front of the table, sporting a large black eye. She was very surprised Zoe had punched him given the circumstances, but the relationships of her students were far less important at the moment than the question of Kyle. She and every witch who was not directly involved in the "case" sat before him. Madison was not present. Which really made this entire process very inconvenient.

Cordelia supposed she would have to get used to that.

"We are gathered here to decide the punishment of Kyle Spencer, accused of killing one of our sisters. As you know, the punishment for harming the coven has always been burning. Mr. Spencer, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Kyle looked toward Zoe, wide-eyed and silent. Zoe began motioning for him to speak, rolling her eyes. He cocked his head, clearly confused.

"Kyle. Did you kill Madison?" He nodded. Which really made it difficult to find a way not to execute him.

"Why did you kill Madison?" She wasn't sure what she could do in this situation. She really wasn't.

Kyle grunted. "Killed Zoe." That was about the answer she expected.  _Fuck._

"You admit to killing a witch. Unfortunately, the sentence for doing so is clear." She wished it wasn't. Maybe afterward Misty could just revive him? Zoe turned toward her, clearly conflicted about burning anyone, much less her (ex?) boyfriend.

"Cordelia. This is a trial. And he's...Mentally ill. Or something. So he can't be prosecuted to the fullest extent of...You can't fucking burn him. Madison sort-of killed me, he killed her, we're both still fucking alive! Can't we just let it go?"

...Maybe burning him was a little much, even if it wasn't permanent. He was, after all, a revived frat boy with minimal brainpower. But he absolutely could not be living in a school. That was non-negotiable. 

"You know he can't stay here. It would be a foolish risk." Not to mention once Madison regained her wits she would attempt to flambé him. And probably succeed. 

"Where the hell are we supposed to send him, then?" Unfortunately, Cordelia's contacts did not include a home for slightly murderous undead college students. She had no idea where they could send Kyle if they weren't going to kill him.

"He could live in the swamp. Ain't nobody there he could hurt. An' it's safe as long as ya don't leave."

That actually made perfect sense. No one had to die, no one else got hurt, peace was kept. 

"Does anyone object to banishing Kyle to the swamp?"

The table was silent. Zoe was crying slightly but appeared at peace with the idea that Kyle would be allowed to live out his life without becoming a piece of charcoal. It was the best that could be done given the situation. 

* * *

 

The house was a riot of arguments between Zoe and Madison, Myrtle's vague complaints about Misty reviving her again after she insisted on being burned, and fireballs. Her thoughts were a barrage of Fiona's dying words. However, the greenhouse was blessedly quiet. She strolled between the plants, savoring the colors she had been unable to see for what felt like ages. 

"Hey, Ms. Delia."

She turned around, smiling widely. Misty had been a godsend over the last few days, seeing over Kyle's move to the swamps and helping her prevent complete pandemonium among the girls. She wasn't sure what she had done to deserve the woman's friendship, but she would be forever grateful for it.

Said woman was currently puttering among the plants, sunny beam firmly in place, swaying to the beat of a song only she could hear. 

"The toaster got lit on fire again." Cordelia raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"It got lit on fire, or someone caused it to ignite?"

Misty became very interested in the leaves of her favorite belladonna plant. "It...caught on fire?"

Cordelia crossed her arms, watching as Misty fidgeted slightly watering the plant. She would bet her new eyes the damn toaster did not just spontaneously combust. Neither did the microwave, or dishwasher, or anything other appliance in the kitchen.

Misty bit her lip and looked down. "Alright, it ate ma damn bagel, I wacked it, and it caught on fire."

Containing her giggles was a losing battle. "It...ate your bagel? Since when do you even know how to use a toaster?"

Misty grinned, clearly proud of herself. "Zoe showed me. I put the bagel in and I pressed the button, but then I couldn't get it out. And it was smokin'. So I wacked it on the counter. And then it started smokin' more and caught on fire."

...Of course, it did. Misty verses the kitchen appliances was a war that their budget was going to lose, badly. She had blown up the microwave trying to coo a raw egg, somehow flooded the house after clogging the dishwasher, and had learned the hard way not to attempt to make anything other than coffee in the coffee pot. She'd be getting frustrated if the swamp witch weren't so adorable.

"I will go shopping for a new toaster tomorrow, then." And possibly a new fire extinguisher. For both Misty and Madison.

"And more bagels?" 

Cordelia sighed. If there was one thing Misty loved more than animals, it was food.

"Just promise me you won't toast them."

* * *

 

Her idea of opening up the coven to the public was met with general enthusiasm, bar Madison. Which was really to be expected. Her moods these days were absolutely foul, usually worse when she had recently attempted to talk to Zoe and been rebuffed. Cordelia was tempted to send them to therapy. 

The person most excited for the arrival of more girls was without a doubt Misty. It made sense. The woman had always wanted to help others in any situation, and preventing other girls from living like her appealed to her greatly. 

In the preparations before officially going public, though, Misty's enthusiasm caused the occasional issue. Like this one.

"Misty. What are these?"

Misty stood before her, skirt covered in mud, hair wet, and practically dancing with glee.

"These are Bubba and Eddie! And this is Joe!" 

She gestured grandly to the two massive lumps of mud at her feet and what appeared to be very strange hat- _that was not a hat._

"Misty Day, what is that on your head?"

The whatever-it-was squawked loudly.

"That's joe. He's a heron. Ain't ya ever seen one before?" Not on someone's head she hadn't, no.

This was going to be a long conversation. She just knew it. "And what are..." She gestured toward the muddy logs flopping on her once pristine lawn.

"Those're my gators." It was at this moment Cordelia's brain decided she was on her own.

"Gators."

Misty reached down to stroke the head of one of the massive animals, receiving a bellow in return. She hugged the creature's neck and stared up at her. "Aren't they great? I couldn't just leave em all alone in the swamp, someone mighta poached em. So I brought em here!"

She brought them here. Gators. And a heron, apparently. To a school. The health and safety department was going to burn her alive.

"Misty. There will be children here soon."

Misty appeared undeterred. "Dontcha worry bout them, they're real friendly! Besides, they can be mascots."

No. No they could not be. No for a million reasons. Not even Misty's pout could make her say yes to this.

"Fine. Make sure they stay behind the greenhouse. And you're feeding them!"

...Fuck.

 


End file.
